The post title itself speaks a lot about the post.
The 3Ds of my life has so much to say that rather explaining then briefly would cost me 3 pages
It’s been a while for me posting blog, so thought process and conversion to a blog post might differ than my previous blogs.
The 3Ds are the 3 stages of an event which occurred to me and a number of other people of my generation whom I may not know.
The event has been a life-changing till now, and its consequences will be a life-changing too.
However I won’t be discussing the event here, but the wider perspectives for now.
If you are a guy and of the same generation whom I belong, (I am 24 years old, FYI) and reading this, then you would surely admit and agree to what I may express here.
So the stages, goes like this:
Stage 1: Dilemma
LIFE: Life is a gift/bitch.
Life, sometimes has so much to give to you, that you would surely get confused, what to take and what to leave. It gives you chances with choices, and its completely on your luck and wit, what you choose out of it.
Life gives you work, love, responsibilities, freedom, and name it, what not.
The whole confusion in choosing between things is what I call ‘Dilemma’.
In our case, if we talk professionally, it would be Dilemma:
To choose the right job,
To choose the right profile,
To choose to stay in the Job or not,
In knowing what’s best for your career.
And so on.
Each choice has it pros and cons and it depends on us, whether we let pros to take over or the cons. This makes the Dilemma more gross and striking in nature.
The problem with this stage is:
‘We do not know what to do, though we have lot to do‘
Of course, the choice you make once, you have to withstand with them, though you like them later or not. The commitment, responsibilities, comes with choices, and so the dependability.
The swift change of life dramatically is an output.
It is in this stage, that the drama starts. We act, we appear to like what we are doing, believe that we might seem to become good at it.
We enact a different personality within us, to show that we actually like what we are doing, and it was the objective we eventually had it, and so it turned out to be. This different personality curbs the original ‘US’, the things in which we could have been very good at, we never tried.
Drama gives a false representation of our outer self and it may last for a period of time and may appear to come out bright.
But it can never last forever. We just seem to fool ourselves.
As it has been said, ‘Do, what you like..Like, what you do..‘
The problem is we try doing the second thing ignoring the first. As a result, the things don’t turn out as it should have been.
A person can’t be good at anything ever, if he doesn’t like what he does.
Thus the dramatic turns in life, is what keeps us roaming and searching for what actually we want from life.
Drama can be a direct result of our bad choices, or lack of good chances.
The problem with this stage is :
‘ We do, without knowing why we are doing it’
This stage is what decides the progress of life of any human being – Denial.
The timing and the exact moment of ‘Denial’ is what is important.
Denial as you know means ‘Rejection’, ‘Refusal’ of the choices which we made during the first stage. It requires lots of guts and self-realization to Deny. And earlier you realize, earlier you would be able to find your life’s set path.
For some people, this realization process is very short and precise, adding to which is their Risk-taking capability.
These are the people who get the taste of Success first, and are the brave ones too.
Examples are many: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Abraham Lincoln, Narayan Murthy.
While still there are people, who don’t realize their motives, qualities as fast, or even if they realize, they do not accept it, or they do not have the courage enough to accept it and take the corresponding related risks. It comes with maturity.
Denial is the most important of all the three stages, as it is the deciding phase which predicts and presumes the real future one is going to have.
Denial is one side of coin, whose other side is Acceptance. Acceptance lacks courage, though is a safest thing to do, when you don’t have choices. Denial and Acceptance are two opposite sides; still they go hand in hand, during various phases of life.
You just have to be sure, when you need to Deny and when you need to Accept.
There is no problem with this stage, ‘We just have to be mature enough in selecting things for us’
Thus, we can conclude that the above 3Ds are responsible for our likely livelihood and our life’s progress. They are the deciding phases.
Life, daily gives you options and depending on your selections, your path is weaved. These selections could be wrong or correct most of the times, but as early you realize it, as early you can jump onto your correct path.
“Life is a test, it asks you questions, answering all is impossible, you might be wrong in few ones, but your ultimate result always is calculated on your willingness to answer them, may it be correct or incorrect.”
You may have all the wisdom to think from your mind, your heart (more importantly) and decide what’s best for you.
Be fearless. Best of luck.
Last, but not the least, A very Happy New Year (belated)
Time rushes past so swiftly, as swift is the sand in your closed palm. Its been more than six months from the instance where we all departed from our college, holding our provisional certificates in our hand, promising each and everyone of our friends, teachers and other known presence, that no matter however the situation may be, we all will remain in touch and consistently be in communication. This altogether was done as a pledge I suppose. The departing friends were calm, serene and had a feeling of sadness in their eyes, because everyone knew that the life we spent here was enriched, crafted and glamoured by our unity and the completeness it followed, by having precious moments to share and enjoy. But the real battle with life was waiting for each one of us.
After grad, some had a pre-planned decision of going for higher studies like MCA, MBA. Some went agreeing to their parents’ decisions. However there were still some who had aspiring motives for continuing there studies, but due to lack of better chances, they decided to lead their ways differently. Some went on to give them a second chance to get their ambitions fulfilled, we serve them our best wishes for their venture and preparation. However there were also some who went inside the professional arena, looking for the jobs of their interest or rather that, that depends on the qualification they posess.I,also belonged to the latter group,and have decided the fate to be bestowed upon me,will undergo circumstances whichever may I need to face.The struggle for each one of us, was well reasonable and hectic at the same time, may it be getting admissions into desired courses, arranging fees amount etc. Or looking for a deserving job. There was hardwork and continuous pressure,and so the result was fruitful.
Chest no. 1 was it that they used to call me, my name was almost lost during those 5 days of my SSB(Service Selection Board) interview.
Starting from the form filling of CDSE, I remember that I was never serious about joining the Defence services. I still remember the day when Sandeep(My class fellow a dear friend) was filling up the form and asked me to fill it up too..He himself brought the form and gave it to me. The same unseriousness was with the exam, We just went to the examination venue, without having any preparation for it.Exam was on 14th February, spoiling the awaited plans for that day. My exam centre was at Lodhi Road, which coincided with some of my friends.
We all gave the exam blindly but thankfully and fortunately the exam wasn’t tough at all, it just required a little bit of common sense and logical thinking. After it, we all were busy in our Practicals, Exams and our lives. The time went on, and we simply forgot about it. Now, was the result time, I didn’t even know the Result date and the site where to know it from. Once again my friends helped me. It was in June 2010, on checking the result, I found only me and my brother cleared the exam from all the friends, who applied. This was ironical in many respects. Little later in few days. we got the call letter too, from UPSC, instigating the venue, date, terms and conditions, of the SSB interview.
Our venue was in Bangalore and the date we had to reach there, was 23rd of AUGUST by 3:00 pm. Excited as were we, we waited anxiously, booked the tickets, arranged the necessary requirements as predicted in the call letter, and reported the Bangalore City Railway Station, on the desired date and time. It was then, that Our trip towards astonishing and surprising standard of life began. There were around 94 aspirants in our batch waiting for their luck and hardwork to ripen. At the scheduled time, We all were in the bus, a bus of ‘Indian Army’, and in few minutes, we have entered the Selection centre South, Bangalore.
The day of reporting wasn’t included in the SSB interview 5-days’ Schedule. It was just to fill up some forms, which included, a PIQ form, a TA form, etc. and allocation of barracks to the candidates. We were eight fellows in a barrack. Then comes the first day.
It was the screening day. We have to report at 6:00 am, so everyone woke up at 4:00 am, to get ready.The screening included a series of tests which decides whether you are required for next 4 days to assess your qualities or you are sent back the very first day. The tests included : an intelligence test, a PPT(Picture Perception Test), a narration, and a GD(Group Discussion) on the stories made by Group fellas to converge onto a single general consensus. The way it went for me, I thought I would be screened out. The result was shocking, the guys who we felt had a better chance were screened out. only three in our roommates, and 59 in all 94 were selected. rest were sent back the very first day. This was the thing, which was not pleasing. You can’t be sure of your selection at any cost.
The chest numbers were re-given to all 59 candidates. Being the youngest, I was given Chest No. 1. Rooms were re-allocated, and so we had new roommates for once more. The day ended in a confusion, I was asking myself what went wrong with others that they weren’t selected, and what went right for me, that I got selected.
It was a psychological test day. There was a booklet given and a series of tests, were there, to check out the state of mind, level of thinking, reaction to situations. The tests included An aptitude test, SRT(Situation Reaction Test), WAT(Word Association Test), Story Writing, etc.
The same day after the tests were over, many of us were called for the interviews, usually the candidates are called in sequence but interview may not be done in sequence necessarily. First 10 candidates were called for the interview and it was taken individually at different places and in random order. Mine was 17 SSB(Indian Army Board), some had interviews in 12 SSB(Indian Navy Board), thus IO(Interviewing Officers) were also different.
Now it was an Outdoor Task day, where we had Group tasks. Firstly, we had a Group Discussion on a topic chosen by us from the topics given by GTO(Group Task Officer) among the members of each group particularly. There were 6 groups each containing 9-10 candidates, and each group had there own GTOs.
In GD,first we got the topic ‘What is the biggest problem faced by India today among Corruption, Global Warming, and Terrorism?’
and the second topic ‘In current Education System student are facing extreme pressure from there peer students, or teachers or parents?’
After this, We had Military Planning test. There was a sitution given with a no. of problems occuring simultaneously, and you have to find solutions to those problems within the specified time limit and with the resources supplied.
Then there was GT(Group Task) where a series of obstacles are there, which a group has to cross with a set of materials and a set of rules.
Then there was a Lecturette where each of the candidates had to speak on a chosen topic for 2:30 minutes infront of his group members.
Then there was a Half Group Task, where group was further divided into two, and each one has to perform the task same as GT.
Then comes the most interesting part ‘The Snake Race’, I would prefer you find it yourself what it basically is ;-).
Then comes the IO(Individual Obstacles test) which was a test of your physical agileness, strength and your confidence, thinking. There were 10 obstacles to cross individually in 2:30 minutes. Each obstacle specifies a given no. of points.
While some groups had the GT going on, some had there interviews.
The final Group tasks include CT(Command Task) where each individual has to command his two chosen group members while performing a task. It is done to check his leadership quality and participation.
Now comes the Conference day, the day deciding the fate of all the candidates. This day all the three, the Psychologist, the IO, the GTO, sit together to decide who is in, who is out. If all three say Yes, then only the candidate is recommended. The thing they look for in a candidate is OLQ(Officer Like Qualities), and what qualities are those are still hidden in many aspects to the real world. The Conference has a formal procedure where each candidate in their Chest sequence, has to meet all the three testers simultaneously.
Then the results,(the result may come good or bad, but the anxiety before it is always same 🙂 ). In our Batch N-CSE/68999 only 7 were recommended for the medical test, rest had to leave the same day. I was in the rest, so could not tell much about the medical tests, but I know, those tests are secondary, the prime focus is always towards getting RECOMMENDED, and the first step towards becoming an Officer of Indian Army.
Though I didn’t get selected and I know I never had so much preparations or confidence towards joining Armed Forces, I will never forget those days. Those 5 days though sent us back unsuccessful, but we didn’t returned empty-handed, We had a exciting, cheerful and inspiring experience, which would help us all our lives, it changed the way we think and execute our plans, how we talk, walk and be in groups, it changed the beliefs and our way of living.
I am thankful to my friends, Our Indian Armed Forces, and their selection centres to rekindle the dead spirits in me. The age limit is 23 for the Indian Army, and I am 21, so, I do have 2 years more to try again. And I will not miss the chances now, anyhow…. 🙂
One statement of the wall posters of our barracks that still roams in mind every now and then and will always do is –
“DO YOU HAVE IT IN YOU?” -Indian Army
I can’t say about you, but in my point of view if you are above 18, you are just an adult, and if you want to be a MAN, then join Indian Army.
There is a short prayer which motivates me a lot , and I think I should share it with you.
Have a look:
I asked Him to give me strength
He gave me difficulties…
To increase up my courage.
I asked Him to give me intelligence
He gave me problems…
To solve them.
I asked Him to give me prosperity
He gave me wisdom…
To work on..and succed.
I asked Him to give me love
He gave me miserable people…
To help them.
I asked Him to give me valour
He gave me complications…
To overcome them.
I asked Him to give me the boon
He gave me chance…
To acquire it.
I never got.. what I wanted…
But I always got.. what I needed…’
The ultimate truth.. there is a very large difference between what all you want, and what all you need. So, if we can understand this difference, life will be more simpler and lovable then it seems to be..
Do have a thought for sure… B-)
Life is never the way, it is supposed to be..
But it can always be, what we want it to be…
Drowned by the mighty shakes of life, I sometimes feel, that life is not worth living, in fact never it was, But many a times, small cheers, may be a sweet smile of a young kid, may be a warm hug by the one whom you love, can entirely change your expert views and thinking..
It happens every now and then, and its true too, that Bad times are followed by Good times, but, how if we think vice-versa..
“Good times are followed by Bad times” Its just the way of thinking, may be its just the other side of coin, which changes the entire meaning. Thus my kind of thinking may appear to people as simply absurd or idiotic, or may be logical to others, but that is what I am. I am not a pessimistic as such, but i do look at both sides of the coin.
I am a thinker(however i don’t know, what I think, is what I am supposed to, but who cares…), who generally have a diversified class of views and interests, and the same is sometimes great and sometimes harmful. These kind of attitude has many a times favoured me, as at least, I like doing all those kind of stuff which I am supposed to do, but many a times, I have feared it, and thought, why didn’t I stuck to an appropriate one, and chose it to be my destiny, and given my whole life to it. This kind of feeling, comes to a lot of people of my age, and it is what everyone fears. But, my question is, Is it a matter of just feeling sorry to, or is it a matter of pride for all of us? Can’t we have ‘Jack of all trades’ kind of philosophy in our lives, or, there is an absolute necessity for everyone of us, to ‘Master only one‘.
They say, you can’t master all, but one… but then will that ‘one’ suffice for you, for your entire life, if you aren’t that kind of a person?… i don’t think so. I am not here to show which one is good and which one is bad, I am here just to discuss both. After all, it s just the matter of choice and selection, how one want to lead his/her life.
However firstly,let us stick to the latter philosophy and discuss,
Its just a matter of background and the family interest that, you chose what your interest is to be. Thus Mastering it also depends on the same. Thus, the support or rising opportunities at different steps of life, is that what contributes to the essential growth. And the area of interest itself helps in the growth of individual as a person, nurtures his qualities, talents to fullest utilization.
However if someone from different class of group and background ‘tries’ to acquire the ‘different’interest(may be because of it rising popularity or a rising exposure), it is for sure that he can’t be as good as the natives in very aspect of it (I think its a fact), but who cares, about this. May be that ‘someone’ never even thought of acquiring this interest, may be he was never inspired, may be he was never pulled up, may be he never got opportunities, may be he never got exposed to such things, but still who cares. No one is interested in knowing how you started, but on, how you ended.
“No one is interested in knowing how you inserted the seed in the soil, how you nurtured it, how you watered it, how you protected it from Sun and Pollution, but the awaited focus is always on the fruit which you get from the tree, If its sweet, ya its a good tree :-), else, sour fruit, bad tree :-(“.
The ending result should be level up (always expected).
This kind of thinking is what to be changed from the minds. I don’t know how to do it, but surely know that it has to be done.
Now Secondly if we talk about ‘Jack of all trades‘ philosophy, a much easier thing to focus on according to my thinking, but, it might be difficult, for many.
‘Jack of all trades, Master of None‘ – It follows for those kind of persons who usually can never focus on one area of interest. Their ideas, views, constantly fluctuate. This kind of attitude is at times favourable. But at times, it can keep you out of the race. The background also here plays a major role in determining the fate of the individual. It is responsible for the kind of thinking that ‘someone’ has, and may be course of life teaches him the same. This is not a matter of feeling guilty about, because if properly guided and worked hard, the life is gonna be, how it is meant to be.
In all posts, we never reach to the satisfactory conclusions, I hope this one will do the same, however there is still a chance of finding solution to the posed problem in your minds, or atleast think about it( And that is what my motive has always been).
Should one be ‘Jack of all trades‘ or ‘Master of one‘???? 😛